Self-Awareness Equals Better Relationships

The ancient Greeks enjoined us to “Know thyself,” and with good reason. A critical aspect of self-awareness is the understanding of how our behaviors, traits, and communication affect the people in our lives, which has a direct bearing on the quality of our relationships, both personal and professional.

And the key to self-awareness is emotional intelligence because emotional intelligence allows us to identify and manage our own emotions. This understanding of our own emotional states, moods, and motivations in turn allows us to better empathize with others, which is a critical leadership quality. Here are three ways to begin to enhance self-awareness:

Make an Appointment with Yourself and/or a Trusted Mentor

Self-awareness is the product of intentional self-examination. Sometimes we are surrounded by such noise that it takes an intentional appointment to make room for the stillness needed for contemplation and getting in touch with ourselves. The insight of other people who you trust and respect can also be invaluable as well. Be sure to make time for contemplation and conversations with key mentors.

Take an Inventory of Your Motivations

We can be motivated by many things: praise, fear, validation, security, purpose, competition, love, truth, beauty, goodness to name a few. And people can frequently sense our motivations and respond to them. Take a minute to think about what motivates you in life? At work? At home? In recreation? Why are these motivating you? How do these motivations interact with and affect the motivations of others around you?

Actively Notice How You Feel

Consider writing down how you feel in various situations, especially those associated with positive feelings. By understanding what gives you feelings of well-being and positivity you can more readily translate these same effects into the lives of others.

Because self-awareness is a decision, we can begin to authentically and intentionally gain a deeper understanding of ourselves in service of our team today. Our weekly Leadership Lessons are a fantastic tool to guide you.

Be a Superhero. Be a Leader.

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to learn from the Cultural Intelligence Center by attending their Cultural Competency Training. The most profound experience for me was an activity where we had to start by describing a significant challenge our world face today and then consider what would happen if we left that challenge as is (not do anything about it). Lastly, we had to consider what would happen if that challenge overcame the world. Once we'd done that, we built a "superhero," equipping that superhero with special powers to overcome that challenge.

Be a Superhero. Be a Leader.

Our group had decided to make our superhero a powerful fairy (stay with me here). Our fairy has a bag of fairy dust that contains vulnerability, openness, understanding, appreciation, recognition, empathy, humility, and so on (it has everything because our fairy is a superhero).

In a world where we are diverse, be it race, culture, gender, age, education, or knowledge level, etc., what if we focus on being open and understanding from where others are coming? What if we considered the experiences that shape who others are? What would the world look like? Under stress, we tend to default to familiarity, to that comfort zone that makes us feel safe. But this isn't where change happens. To enact change, either in others or ourselves, avoid creating stressful experiences. Be considerate in your words and communication style. Be open, be a good listener, try to understand, be appreciative, and know that each person is valuable. Let that overcome the world instead.