Self-Awareness Equals Better Relationships

The ancient Greeks enjoined us to “Know thyself,” and with good reason. A critical aspect of self-awareness is the understanding of how our behaviors, traits, and communication affect the people in our lives, which has a direct bearing on the quality of our relationships, both personal and professional.

And the key to self-awareness is emotional intelligence because emotional intelligence allows us to identify and manage our own emotions. This understanding of our own emotional states, moods, and motivations in turn allows us to better empathize with others, which is a critical leadership quality. Here are three ways to begin to enhance self-awareness:

Make an Appointment with Yourself and/or a Trusted Mentor

Self-awareness is the product of intentional self-examination. Sometimes we are surrounded by such noise that it takes an intentional appointment to make room for the stillness needed for contemplation and getting in touch with ourselves. The insight of other people who you trust and respect can also be invaluable as well. Be sure to make time for contemplation and conversations with key mentors.

Take an Inventory of Your Motivations

We can be motivated by many things: praise, fear, validation, security, purpose, competition, love, truth, beauty, goodness to name a few. And people can frequently sense our motivations and respond to them. Take a minute to think about what motivates you in life? At work? At home? In recreation? Why are these motivating you? How do these motivations interact with and affect the motivations of others around you?

Actively Notice How You Feel

Consider writing down how you feel in various situations, especially those associated with positive feelings. By understanding what gives you feelings of well-being and positivity you can more readily translate these same effects into the lives of others.

Because self-awareness is a decision, we can begin to authentically and intentionally gain a deeper understanding of ourselves in service of our team today. Our weekly Leadership Lessons are a fantastic tool to guide you.

The Power of a Smile: A Secret Ingredient to Employee Engagement

Today, I was asked to sit in on an employee relations situation with a team leader and her employee. When arrived, the angst was high, many emotions and concerns were thrown out at once that I cannot even hear clearly. (thinking to myself, how am I going to be able to help, yikes!) So they took turns to talk and hear the other one with respect (they vowed me with this). My job was to listen, not to "listen to understand" or "listen to solve" BUT LISTEN WITH PRESENCE, trusting the Spirit will show me the next step.

We distilled it down to this very quickly: we needed the employee to stay because production is busy and have high demands to meet in order to serve the customers, not because the team leader was being difficult (she herself has sacrificed much of her family time to serve) so we asked kindly: will you please help out the company, and he said absolutely. Then next up, he has been dealing with a lot in his personal life and therefore admitted he has been daydreaming a bit while he's on the line and could not catch everything. The team leader is extraordinarily accountable and always points out to make sure he is doing his job well. Still, she cares very much about him and admits that he usually does a good job; only recently, there have been more errors. So, we explained that accountability is the form of love; she corrects him because she wants him to succeed, BUT while we are overworked and under pressure, we could still have some fun and lightheartedness, so I challenged the team leader to catch him doing something great every day. Finally, I challenged them to high-five each other every day, and they immediately fist-bumped each other on the spot and smiled. I am so amazed at their receptiveness.

We crave to understand and be understood, and we yearn to care about each other. Humanity is created to love. I don't ever underestimate the power of a touch or the power of a smile. People can hear your smile over the phone, and people can feel your smile down the road and around the corner before they even see you. KEEP SMILING! Lift other's spirits. Sometimes it is not as hard as we make it out to be! :)

-an average gal who gets to work with incredible souls

Be a Superhero. Be a Leader.

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to learn from the Cultural Intelligence Center by attending their Cultural Competency Training. The most profound experience for me was an activity where we had to start by describing a significant challenge our world face today and then consider what would happen if we left that challenge as is (not do anything about it). Lastly, we had to consider what would happen if that challenge overcame the world. Once we'd done that, we built a "superhero," equipping that superhero with special powers to overcome that challenge.

Be a Superhero. Be a Leader.

Our group had decided to make our superhero a powerful fairy (stay with me here). Our fairy has a bag of fairy dust that contains vulnerability, openness, understanding, appreciation, recognition, empathy, humility, and so on (it has everything because our fairy is a superhero).

In a world where we are diverse, be it race, culture, gender, age, education, or knowledge level, etc., what if we focus on being open and understanding from where others are coming? What if we considered the experiences that shape who others are? What would the world look like? Under stress, we tend to default to familiarity, to that comfort zone that makes us feel safe. But this isn't where change happens. To enact change, either in others or ourselves, avoid creating stressful experiences. Be considerate in your words and communication style. Be open, be a good listener, try to understand, be appreciative, and know that each person is valuable. Let that overcome the world instead.

Leading Others: 5 Disciplines to Multiply the Genius Around You and Avoid Becoming a Diminisher!

Liz Wiseman, the author of the insightful book Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter, says that there are two types of leaders. The first type drains intelligence, energy, and capability from the people around them. They always need to be the smartest person in the room. Then there is the second type of leader: the multiplier. Multipliers lead by using their intelligence to amplify the capabilities of the people around them. When these leaders walk into a room, light bulbs go off over people’s heads, ideas flow, and problems get solved.

Multiplier vs. Diminisher

When we become a leader, we are motivated and hoped to be a multiplier. However, we can unintentionally become a diminisher if we’re not intentional about our drivers. When I heard Wiseman speaking at a conference ten years ago, I had an “aha” moment when I realized that I was an accidental diminisher. I was leading an employee who was capable and smart, but I tried to protect and save her from challenging situations. When I rescued her, she didn’t get the opportunity to solve problems herself and learn from her experiences. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, my job as a leader was to be a coach and a supporter. Since that realization, I learned to invest in her growth instead of jumping to rescue her from situations, and she began to thrive, and today she's a great leader in her profession.

It takes intentionality to be an effective leader. Sometimes, that intentionality is about knowing our blind spots and making sure we don't become that accidental diminisher. Use the below checklist, illustrating the five disciplines of a multiplier to do a self-check.

Are you a multiplier or a diminisher? Join the Leader Momentum movement to learn more about how servant leadership is the ultimate way to multiply! Learn more at www.leader-momentum.com.

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